Disclaimers: 1. This is my story. This is what worked for myself and Kate and our family. Decisions we made are not to belittle other Moms or Dads or babies. Everyone has their own preferences and choices. 2. Also realize that with birthing stories there are details that some may not want to read (blood, boobs, vaginas, etc.). That’s your choice. I’m not going to be overly gory, but I’m not going to shy away or use substitute words. 3. Unfortunately, as a self-proclaimed writer I like words. A lot. This is long. So read it all, or don’t. No hard feelings.
Well it’s been six months. Long enough for me to regain some of my sanity from the newborn days. Long enough for me to forget some details. I wanted to write the story the most empowering experiences of my lifes so far: Kate’s birth.
The Decision for Homebirth
I’m not normally the hippy dippy, crunchy, granola, etc. type. In fact, if I could choose between essential oils and traditional medicine for pain relief, I will lunge for the valium every time.
However, my birth of my first son Jackson in 2010 threw a wrench in my plans. He had been induced (my own request), and a host of other interventions including a epidural (reverse the curse!), ended up with his heart rate dropping and ending up in an emergency C-section. I was healthy, my son was healthy, so I did not expect to end up in surgery. However, ignorance was somewhat bliss in that situation. I was happy to finally see my baby and happy that I wasn’t going to have to go through labor any longer. Gratefully, the surgery went well and Jackson arrived in his 7 lb, 8 oz glory. He was adorable. I was exhausted and unable to keep my eyes open during the surgery. Little did I know the recovery that awaited me. I stayed in bed for twenty four hours, with my husband eventually helping me to walk to the restroom. When the nursing staff asked me to walk around the hospital I cried. Turns out pain meds are helpful for the ability to move around after surgery. It was two weeks of painful recovery, of crying in the bathroom because my intestines needed to get back to normal after being rearranged in my body, of trying to get out of bed to get to my crying newborn without the help of working abdominal muscles (surprisingly needed), and trying to manage the equilibrium of hormones, etc.Thankfully my body recovered, my son was healthy, and I was healthy. I was all the more inspired, however, to try my hardest to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) on the next go round.
Fast forward to summer of 2013. The magical plus sign appeared the weekend after we moved to Lakeland. We were ecstatic. Now came the “fun” part: picking a care provider. Even though statistically for most women it has been proven that a VBAC is safer, many doctors are not on board and either out of convenience or fear, chose to push repeat C-sections. The local hospital around here is “willing” to do VBACs but if you cough wrong, go past your due date, get too snippy with the nurses, etc. they want to cut again. (Edit: lately I have been hearing more VBAC stories from this hospital: yay!) My choice was to travel to Tampa or Orlando to try at a bigger hospital, or go to a midwife locally. Friends of ours who tend to be more holistic had home births with a midwife and sang her praises. I viewed them as some sort of superhero and crazy Moms. Sure they can have pain-med free births, but I was not sure that was for me, I appreciate (and I thought needed) a good epidural and what about safety?
On a whim, I decided to interview one of the local midwives, Melissa. I came prepared with a list of questions. She answered every one. Her statistics for delivery were amazing in her ten years of practice. I was convinced that baby and I would be monitored carefully for safety. If anything went wrong they had medicine on hand and were not afraid to call an ambulance. In fact, in case anything was wrong they would call and prep the operating room while I was on route. One of the concerns for a VBAC is uterine rupture. Although the chances are extremely rare, it is something to be mindful of. I told her, “This is not me. I’m not one to go au natural. I like pain meds. I hate pain. If I had a chance, I’d do an epidural all day long.” However, her response clicked something in me. Basically, the safest way to do a VBAC is without an epidural. If there was a uterine rupture I would feel that something was wrong. I needed to be able to feel. That sealed the deal. If I was going to VBAC I was going to have to do it naturally. If I was going to do it pain-med free, I was not going to be strapped to a bed, without food or liquids. A birthing center was not an option, as their insurance does not cover VBACs. I was going to do it on my terms. I was going to birth in whatever way was comfortable. Me, complaining whenever I get a bug bite Kelly, was going to do a natural birth. At home.
I braced myself. It was time to prepare.
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