My due date was all set for Wednesday, February 26th. However, with my son being "late" and my Mom not really going early on any of her births, I did not expect to go before my due date. A couple of days before I had some contractions that started in the early evening and ended a few hours later. The first night it happened (Sunday) we were at my parents house two hours away. We rushed home to Lakeland only to be finding ourselves twiddling our thumbs asking, "anything... anything?" In the meantime, we had called several people and let them know what was going on. A well-wisher had put something on the internet which led to an onslaught of "baby yet?" comments. Lesson learned. When labor really started we were keeping our big mouths shut until Kate arrived.
Feb 27--Thursday Morning and Afternoon
At around 7 AM I started feeling some cramping. Contractions were coming about every 6-8 minutes. I texted Josh at work to give him a "heads up" that things were different and were possibly starting to roll. He called me back asking if he could just please come home. At the time my brother Michael was living with us. He promptly got put to work making me my favorite omelet. Hey, a woman has to have fuel for the hard work of pushing a baby out, right? Josh eventually came come not too much later and my Mom was called to make her two hour trip toward us. She arrived around 11 and it was so fun to see her. I felt like it was the start of a fun, somewhat uncomfortable, soon to be painful party.
Other activities that morning included: buying and setting up a new toilet seat for our toilet. I knew one of the strategies midwives used was having a birthing Mom sit on the toilet to labor for contractions. It sounds gross, but I guess there's something about the way that sitting like that opens up your pelvis, etc. I was able to find out all about that in the future, but for now, I had a toilet seat that kept sliding off. Trying to stay on a toilet did not sound like a fun activity in the middle of a contraction. Michael was sent out for a new toilet seat at Lowes. He was also sent out for donut holes from Hole in One Donuts. Again, fuel for labor.
The afternoon continued on. Me, bouncing on a ball or stopping briefly for contractions, my Mom or Josh helping timing them on my smart phone with a contraction app, and us all hanging out/resting. At this time contractions were painful and I was stopping to breathe through them. My Mom would announce, "that was a good one," and not going to lie, I felt proud. I was doing this. I was doing this labor thing. I fully expected Kate to arrive that evening or at sometime that night. Oh, naivety.
Earlier that morning I called my midwife Melissa just to inform her that things were "cooking." She asked just to be kept up with what was going on as she had clinic that day until five. Around that time, I texted her that she should probably come by after work to check on me. Melissa and Michelle (the midwife-in-training) arrived, performed a cervical check, and observed me during a contraction. Melissa then very carefully informed me that it looked like I was in this for "the long haul." At that point, after contractions for most of the day I was still only at one centimeter and was not quite in "active labor." I wanted to inform her then and there that I was for sure in active labor, didn't she see that I was in pain? Her recommendation was for me to try to get as much rest as possible. She also recommended that I take two calcium, two benadryl, eat a good meal, take a bath, and try to sleep. At this point contractions were still around 6-8 minutes apart. I was super bummed but tried to keep my spirits up. Side note: my mother and father in law were watching Jackson during this time. It was such a relief to know he was being well cared for and I was not worrying about his everyday needs.
After following Melissa’s recommendations we headed to bed. All throughout the night I would wake up around every ten minutes, stand on the side of the bed, tell Josh to start the contraction app, breathe through each contraction, and then climb into bed. Josh would hold my hand while I was breathing. I would say to him, “tell me nice things,” he would whisper, “ugh good job.” Other times by the end of the contraction he would fall back asleep. Don’t worry, he will more than redeem himself later on in this story. Around 11 PM I went to the living room so that Josh could sleep more restfully. My brother was out there on the computer.. I’m not sure how comfortable he felt with me every ten minutes getting up from laying on the couch and then pacing during a contraction, but he kept quiet about it and his presence was calming.
Friday Morning and Afternoon
Friday morning Josh and I decided to go on a walk around the neighborhood. It must have been interesting for the neighbors to see a waddling pregnant lady leaning on her husband’s arm trying to make their way around the neighborhood. A couple of neighbors called out of their homes, “When are you going to have this baby?” And we would respond, “Hopefully soon, we’re in labor now!” There were several contractions during this time that were quite intense. I was getting excited that things might be moving along. Sometime late Thursday morning Melissa stopped by to check on me again. Things were around the same. Contractions were between 6-8 minutes apart and still (for me) somewhat heavy intensity (or so I thought). She recommended for me to try to get my mind off of labor and that I still had a way to go. That was not really what I wanted to hear. Melissa advised that I put the contraction app away, try to get out of the house, and maybe grab a smoothie or something. At this point, I did not have much of an appetite, but it was probably good for me to get some more fuel for labor.
Off my Mom and I went to smoothie King. While in line, I had several “good” contractions. I didn’t want to freak anyone out so I tried to act as normal as possible. Not quite as easy as I thought. We had been thinking about going to Hobby Lobby, but after trying our outing at Smoothie King, it didn’t seem very fun. Nonetheless, we ended up at the plant nursery down the road from our house. There weren’t many people there, so I didn’t feel the pressure to act like I wasn’t in labor, though I was being rocked with contractions. Every couple of minutes I would stop at a particular plant, act like I was interested, and breathe through. The fresh air and beauty, not to mention the Carribean way smoothie were good for reviving my spirits.
Also good for reviving my spirits was my friend Annie. She knew I was still in labor and I texted her when I was discouraged. She without a beat sent me several jokes to my cell phone. One was a shared joke whenever we have a rough day we remind each other: “If Britney Spears can make it through 2007, you can make it through today.” It was so good to laugh and was much appreciated. I also pulled up my pinterest and looked through my “funny stuff” album. The images, jokes, and pictures lifted my spirits as well. Laugher is great medicine. I knew all that time on Pinterest was good for something :)
Another pick-me-up came from my sister Amy. She called and related a dream from the night before. She she was playing in a field with Kate several years from now. It was one of those scenes from a movie, where they were running through a field of wildflowers. Amy said, “Kelly, she was so, so beautiful!” Later on, when I was in the throes of labor I would tell myself, “you have to get through this. You are having a beautiful girl. Amy said so.”
Friday Evening
Friday evening Melissa and Michelle came by to check me again. At this point, I had been in labor something like 36 hours. Though my contractions were not necessarily coming closer together (maybe sometimes as soon as five minutes apart), I had had some intense ones all afternoon. I thought surely I was making some strong progress and that Kate would be coming soon. They did a cervical check and… I was only three centimeters. I was crestfallen. 36 hours of contractions and I was only three centimeters? They asked if I would be willing for them to “stretch” me a little and I quickly agreed. The next contraction came and they “stretched” me to four centimeters. That was not my favorite, but I was hoping that progress would be made. My body was tired. I had very broken sleep the previous night. More than my body being tired I was emotionally spent. At this point I told Melissa I did not know how much longer I could go. I told her that I could do this maybe for another 24 hours, and then I would go to the hospital. After all of my plans for a VBAC and all of my hours in labor, I really did not want to go to a hospital, but I was worried that maybe my body just maybe was not working like it was supposed to.
Melissa and Michelle ended up staying for a little while longer and hung out. We joked that, “hey, maybe you will go home and then have to turn right around.” I hoped and hoped that it would be true. Not convenient for them, but true. Melissa again recommended the benadryl/calcium combination so that I would rest as best as I possibly could. I took one calcium, but didn’t want to be looped up on benadryl just in case Kate decided to make her grand debut during the evening. I was hopeful yet skeptical that she would ever come. Maybe I would be in perpetual labor forever.
